An Interview With...Kayleigh Marie Edwards

Hello!

In addition to my ramblings on what the hell I'm writing and doing, I'll also be posting up the odd (zombie) movie review, and interviews with other writers. The questions will be twofold, one set will be cutting and insightful, the other set...not so much, but will hopefully shine a light on their brain workings.

My first ever victim is the rather wonderful Kayleigh Marie Edwards. She came to my attention with her Ginger Nuts of Horror articles. At the time we were looking for contributors to Volume One of The Black Room Manuscripts, I approached her and was delighted when she said yes. Her story, 'Skin', was one of my personal favourites from TBRM1.

"If this doesn't raise a smile and have you double-checking your zombie apocalypse plan, you're probably already dead."

Her short story, Bitey Bachman, has just been released, and is a digital exclusive over on Kindle. I thought it prudent to try out my interviewing technique, and have stumbled upon someone as wonderfully weird as me, enjoy...

DPB - Hello! Who the hell are you and how did you get in here? 


KME - Oh heyyy. I’m Kayleigh, I’ve come for the mini pizzas. You shouldn’t have left that window open, I’m a keen climber.

DPB - So, your short story, Bitey Bachman, is out on Monday, how did it come about?


KME - I write every day, if only for practice. One fateful night, I had infuriating writer’s block. I had nothing! I took a bunch of green post-it notes and wrote a location on each one. Then I took a load of pink post-it notes and wrote a crime on each one. Finally, I had a load of orange post-it notes and I wrote a ‘situation’ on each one, you know, ‘huge fire’, ‘meteor crash’, etc. I chucked them all in a bag and drew out one of each colour and what I got was ‘asylum’, ‘zombie apocalypse’, and ‘indecent exposure’. And thus, Bitey was formed.


DPB - It pays homage (of sorts) to a particular musical…what was the reason behind it?


KME - Well…. I like to be silly. The story is silly, the references are silly, and that particular musical is silly but in the best possible way. I didn’t mean to put so many references in there, it was only when I read it back I realised I’d punctuated sections of the plot with it! I drew a bit of inspiration from it (the absurdity of secret labs and whatnot), but mostly I just wanted to capture the camp feel of the whole thing.


DPB - It is clear from this, your Ginger Nuts of Horror articles and other stories, that you’re ‘quite keen’ on the undead. Is your writing process between zombies and ‘other stuff’ different?


KME - There’s a huge difference and I think it’s because I’m a bit weird.I can’t stand to read about or watch horror that’s all about human suffering. Monster stories? Yay! Stories of people turning mad and doing harm to themselves and those they love? Errrrggggghhhh that stuff makes me feel all dead and cold and unpleasant inside. And yet, that’s the stuff I write when I’m writing straight horror. It always goes that way, maybe because a full nervous, emotional breakdown and a descent into the most unpleasant mental states imaginable is what I consider the scariest thing that can happen to a person. When I’m writing like that, I genuinely feel depressed and I go through all these weird motions in my mind. And it takes me ages to finish that stuff.


But when I’m writing about zombies…. Yaaaaaay fun! Even if you care about the characters (I swear, if anything happens to The Walking Dead’s Carol….), you can only suffer so much if something happens to them, because the backdrop is pure fiction. It’s just straight, great fun.
When I’m writing, I feel like I’m in the zombie apocalypse, I go into zombie apocalypse mode. But the fun kind. And most of all, I get to write these totally ridiculous non-hero type characters that are inappropriate for other types of stories.

I wrote a play called Kill ‘em in the Brain about four completely different, but equally idiotic and silly people, and it was the most fun I’ve ever had creating something. It got staged twice by a very talented cast who added lines and gestures – it was like watching my kids grow up!


DPB - What are you working on now?


KME - Finding a house that isn’t full of damp. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a house in the valleys that doesn’t have damp in the walls?


Work-wise, I’m currently on a review tour of haunted places around Britain. I’m visiting all these super cool, apparently haunted locations and writing up my experience, along with interviews with staff and a history of each place. It will be a series of video-uploads, blogs, reviews, and at the end of the year I plan to compile it all into a book. It’s also the basis of my PhD thesis – I’m interested in how the stories told about these places affect the experience for those who visit them.


DPB - If you were only allowed to watch one zombie film until the end of time, which one would you choose, and why…


KME - I’d love to say George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead because it’s an academically acclaimed beast of thematically challenging and poignant filmmaking, and the first undead zombie movie of its kind. But I’m gonna go ahead and say Rec., which was directed by Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza. It was the first zombie movie I saw that actually scared me, and I think the premise and set-up is cool. Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead is a close second, and the one I’ve viewed the most times though – that film is a scriptwriting masterpiece!


DPB - Do you have any particular aspirations with your writing?


KME - All the aspirations. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I want to write a novel that deserves to be on the best-seller list, and/or a TV show that loads of people want to watch. At a minimum, I just want to make a living as a full-time writer. I’ve spent my life having people (even fellow writers) rolling their eyes at me for that, and I’ve spent years enduring jobs that make me not want to get up in the morning, but why should I? Why should anyone? Life is too short to have your soul crushed by the thing that takes up most of your week.


DPB - Excellent, you have proved yourself worthy of...THE QUICKFIRE QUESTIONS OF DOOM. You need nerves of steel and a sphincter capable of clenching in a quark from a Black Hole. I need the first thing you think of… 

KME - Cheese.


DPB - Ohhh, you're good, though the real questions start...now...favourite biscuit? 


KME - Cow biscuits (or Malted Milks, for the less childish).


DPB - You decide to farm animals to manufacture your own brand of cheese, which animal do you milk and what novelty food do you serve?


KME - Bats. I’d serve bat cheese on little fang-shaped crackers, with Bloody Marys.


DPB - Christmas or Halloween?


KME - Oh gooooddddddddd. I’d love to say Halloween, as a horror fanatic, but it has to be Christmas!


DPB - It’s the end of the world, HOORAY! Who do you trip up first to help you escape from the ravenous zombie horde?


KME - The careers advisor from school who made fun of me for wanting to be a writer, and then kicked me out of her office when I asked her if ‘careers advisor’ is what she wanted to be when she grew up.


DPB - You are shopping in a supermarket, and discover a portal to another dimension. What do you throw through to test that you won’t be reduced to atoms?


KME - David Cameron.


DPB - You can make one band live forever, who do you choose?


KME - Your Protected. They’re the best band you haven’t heard of, but that you definitely should have. If you get the chance to see these guys live, they will melt your face off with sheer talent. If they were the last people alive while the world was ending, they’d probably produce a beast of an apocalypse track for the planet to die with.


DPB - There are only two pairs of shoes in the entire world, one stinks like a rotting animal resting in an open sewer, the other cuts off circulation to your toes, causing festering sores, which do you wear?


KME - I’ve recently worn a new pair that cut off the circulation to my toes, causing festering sores, and I ended up limping around in the rain with bleeding feet. I looked like something from Carrie. So, I guess it’s the rotting animal smelling ones.


DPB - Odd numbers or even numbers?


KME - It depends on if they can be divided equally by the number 3.

So there you have it, equal parts Michael Parkinson and Avid Merrion, thanks to Kayleigh for stopping by and eating me out of mini pizza. If you haven't already, pick up Bitey Bachman today, it's a rather cool take on the zombie apocalypse. Check out Kayleigh on her blog over at

https://kayofthedead.wordpress.com

Take it easy y'all

Dunk

Get your ass to Mars

Greetings!

Hoping you are well and enjoying your weekend? Two weeks huh? What the Dickens have I been up to, well...

The novel, Deadlock was put on the naughty step, as I hit a brick wall on it. Think I was trying to write it too straight, if you've read my stuff, you know there is an element of humour in it, and looking back through it, it's missing, and my initial get up and go, well, went.

However...it hasn't been dead time. Whilst I reprimanded it, I started (and finished) an (as yet) unnamed novella. (More brackets? No) It's a sci-fi/horror story centred around the first manned mission to Mars. It's coming to the end of the trip, and the resident geologist, miffed that all she has discovered is egg smelling rock, sets off to the Galle crater. Whilst there, she makes a few revelatory discoveries.

Needless to say, things go a little awry, and the crew are forced to fight for their survival. The true history of not just Mars, but also our own planet is revealed, can the survivors stop the destruction of everything they know? If the Galle crater rings a bell, here's a little picture of it:

It's also referred to as the 'smiley face' crater, and fans of Watchmen will recognise it. Hey, if you want to set something on Mars, may as well reference one of the best comics/graphic novels of all time huh?

That needs to be edited, but I'm going to let it settle for a few weeks before I go back to it. There are so many potential little holes I could've missed, that I need some time away from it, before heading back.

I'll be getting back on Deadlock in the meantime, and already have the cover image formed in my head, and the dude in mind who will hopefully be able to bring it to life. More info on that when it has been formalised.

Elsewhere, I am over the moon to be part of Matt Shaw's Easter anthology 'Easter Eggs and Bunny Boilers'. The list of authors involved is a who's who of modern indie horror authors, to be in their company is pretty awe-inspiring, but also a little shit your pants scary. I've written the story for it, called 'Hey-Zeus', and that is currently off with Mr J.R. Park, to see what he makes of it. I don't want to give much away on it, but it's a retelling (of sorts) of the Easter story, just done my way.

You can pre-order it right now, it's Kindle only, but an absolute steal at 99p/cents;

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01AMSYLUO

Finally, the physical proof for Celebrity Culture is winging its way to me, and is now available on Amazon for pre-order. It's £4.99 in the UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0993534600 and $6.99 over in the US: http://amzn.com/0993534600 I'm really looking forward to this being released, though will be a lot more low-key than my other books, not for any other reason than Bizarro is a niche market, and this will definitely not be to everyone's tastes. Not because of the content, but just because it is pretty out-there. Still, if you fancy seeing what my brain is capable of coming up with, please do.

I'm gonna get back to reading through Deadlock again, and try to get back into it. Really cannot wait for the books that should be winging their way out to people this year. Have a BONZER weekend, catch ya on the flipside.

Dunk

Living in Deadlock

Hello!

Decided to blog more regularly, so that all three people who have a slight interest, can have a butchers as to what I'm up to. It'll be a mix of stuff, and will undoubtedly veer wildly depending on mental state.

First up, my first foray into the world of Bizarro, Celebrity Culture, is confirmed to be released on 29 February 2016. The cover was done by the excellent April Guadiana. I loved the cover she did for Adam Millard's superb Vinyl Destination, and along with the Doof Warrior image, (which adorns a t-shirt I frequently wear), have been looking to find a project to use her talents on, if you missed it, here it is:

The synopsis is: It's the thirteenth annual Lou Gehrig awards. Four B-list celebrity virologists vie to claim the Locked In Syndrome cup and get mulched down to form their disease for mass distribution.

A disease hipster takes centre stage on a night when a blast from the past threatens to turn his ordered, pus filled life upside down. In order to blow open a deep rooted conspiracy, he must team up with a disgraced one time child star who wants another shot at the big time, and clear his sullied name.

Together, they’re going to show people the real meaning of a meltdown.

The kindle version is ready for pre-order already, right here:

UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01A2FKU9S
US: http://amzn.com/B01A2FKU9S

The digital version is at the princely price of 99p/$1.49, purely because my principle is that any novel I release will be £1.99/$2.99 and novellas will be cheaper, because quite simply, you get less words. The physical copies will be ready for preorder soon too.

I'm also 20k into the new book, now called 'Deadlock', it's about a chap who joins a crew on a jewellery heist, but ends up having to fight through hell. Early days yet, so still evolving, (I'm not much of a planner) but there are some pretty nasty bits in it already, might be my most gruesome writing to date. Provisionally, am aiming for a July release, so it ties in with our run of convention appearances.

Typically, I've also had another idea running around, it's gonna be a novella I reckon, and a touch of sci-fi in it. This is provisionally called 'The Entity', and will write it after the first draft of Deadlock is done.

Nothing quite like being busy huh? That's it for this week, I've just gotten off a Skype chat with the other Sinister Horror Company chaps, and this year is going to be MENTAL. Cannot wait for you to all see what we have in store for you.

Take it easy, and have a good one.

Dunk

Zombie Move Review - The Battery

Through the many zombie films I watch, once in a while, I come across something which genuinely grabs my interest. The Battery is one such film. It's very much a film of two halves, first off you get to explore the dynamic of the two leads.

You quickly pick up the dislike between the two, Ben seemingly deals with the zombies, he's the batter, Mickey spends most of his time with his headphones on. It's easily a relationship of circumstance not choice.

One scene with a frustrated Mickey in the back of the car is just bizarre, something Mr Justin Park would appreciate.

To me, the film comes alive in the second half, ironically when they are are taken out of their jaunt and put into a static location. The two men bond, and manage to find some common ground.

I really would not want to offer too much more as it was genuinely fantastic. I picked it up really cheap, if you want a zombie film that's a bit different from the usual dirge, get it.

What's in store...

Hello !

So 2014 will soon be history and a brand new year full of fresh opportunities and things to balls up begins, huzzah !

To say this year panned out how I planned would be a hideous lie. It's worked out so much better. This is in no small part due to Dan Chant and Justin Park, without their creative spark I would never have written a book, so I raise a glass to them.

The last six months I've been slowly getting to meet people in the 'scene' and have been overwhelmed by how bloody marvellous people have been. I'm looking forward to getting to know them better next year and help promote them and their work.

2014 has been alright, I'm starting to become aware of my own mortality, and writing has helped fill a gap in my life. It's shown me that if you have a dream, do it, don't procrastinate, life is too damn short to worry about pointless stuff. Make the most of what you have but never be afraid to push yourself, you never know what you can do.

Next year is shaping up to be a busy one, I'll be writing the first books in the Class Four trilogy, and hoping to get my zombie choose your own adventure done. Plus, I've submitted a short story for The Black Room Manuscripts, put together by Mr Chant.

Always find New Year's Eve to be a bit shite, don't dwell on the past, cherish those you're with, look to the future and have a bloody good time.

See y'all on the flip side

Dunk

Zombie Movie Review - Battle of the Damned

Question, how can you you make a film with Dolph Lundgren better ? Add zombies or robots ? How about both ? Sound epic ? It isn't, not in the slightest.

The setup is like Escape from New York, Dolph, aka Major Max Gatling, has to go into an infected city and rescue some office dwelling, staring out of the window bigwig's daughter, and he only has 24 HOURS !

Gasp.

Yeah, it doesn't get much better. I genuinely felt sorry for Dolph as the director obviously likes watching pensioners try and run. I was on the verge of phoning Age Concern, the poor bastard.

So, the zombies, or not, as Mouse from the Matrix tells us numerous times 'they're not zombies'.....no shit. You can just old age stab one in the chest and they die.

Still, the robots can save the film, yes ?

No. They look relatively realistic and work well, but they just don't really add anything except some competition for the array of stiff acting already on show.

There's some nice gore in places, but most of it is hidden, probably due to the budget being spent on a new hip for Dolph.

One good thing though. It's over within an hour and a half. If you're thinking of watching this, I'd suggest using the 85 minutes composing a haiku involving poor old Lundgren.

Zombie Movie Review - The Dead

Pretty much every single zombie film you'll see will be set in some town/city in America or Blighty. It was probably one of the things that piqued my interest in The Dead that it broke from this traditional setting, basing it in Africa.

The film uses the backdrop of the Africa wilds to good effect, small villages with head height crops provide idle hiding spots for the shambling dead. Yes, a modern zombie film where they DON'T RUN.

I'm a purist, the thing which makes zombies terrifying isn't them individually, its as a slow moving horde, you under-estimate them and that's where they get you.

The film itself is passable, the last flight from Africa crashes off the coast and the survivors washed ashore. One of the survivors then attempts to make his way to another airfield to get back to his family in the States.

Along the way he meets up with a chap from the local army trying to find his son who was rescued from his now butchered village by the military.

There are some proper gory feeding scenes, some nice little shocks and seriously one of the best zombies I have ever seen. The effects are well done considering the budget.

It falls short as I didn't really feel any connect with either character, pretty formulaic but if you fancy a different background, proper zombies and some decent gore, you could do a lot worse than The Dead.